How did my artistic journey begin?

I was always an imaginative kid.  In the 5th grade, I put together a carnival in my backyard with tickets, games and a ride where I took our wheel barrel out and pushed around my friends running as fast as I could.  That stopped after 2 riders.  

Growing up, art was not in my wheelhouse.  That was always something I thought I just couldn't do.  It didn't help that in the 1st grade I was told by a teacher I shouldn't color outside the lines.  To a young kid, that just meant I was doing it wrong and therefore I wasn't good at it. Art wasn't a subject nor was it even considered necessary.  It was just something to do to pass the time.  At least that how it was always presented to me.

Fast forward to college... I thought my life was set.  I got a chemistry degree from the University of California, Santa Cruz and I was working as a dental assistant while studying for the dental exam.  Everything was coming together and I thought my desire to be dentist was coming to fruition, but that all came to a halt fast. 

 

It was just a typical day at work and this guy I thought was a cutie was coming in for x-rays. and a consultation.  As the only x-ray tech in the office, I was excited to get a chance to finally talk to him.  I don't know what happened, but as I was taking his x-rays, I could see him saying something to me, but somehow I couldn't hear him or really understand the words he was saying.  In hindsight, he must've thought I was so weird not responding to him, but what was I suppose to do, tell him I'm losing my mind and he was speaking gibberish to me?  I left work that day thinking it was nothing serious and just an odd fluke.

 

Days became months and I wasn't getting better.  My on and off inability to comprehend people, hearing loss, and now my poor depth perception were my symptoms and this was all starting to freak me out, but outwardly, I tried to keep my cool so, only a few people knew what was going on with me.  I would drive to work and I couldn't gauge how close I was the the person in front of me.  I recall thinking I'll know when I'm close if I accidentally hit the car in front of me. It was such a terrible feeling. By now, I saw doctors and they'd administered tests , but no one could tell me what was wrong with me.  So after work, I would just go home lay under the covers and wait for another day to repeat all while hoping I'd get better.  A year passed and I quit my job and plans for dental school to focus on my health as each day was a struggle to get by.  It felt like my brain was in a fog and that prevented me from understanding what anyone was saying or doing.  Internally I was going mad and no one could help me.

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Then one day, my boyfriend said "why don't you do something your passionate about?"  For days I thought about that question and came up with 2 things: Fashion and Teaching.  I chose to pursue fashion and enrolled in Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, San Francisco the next semester. 

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Fashion school was so different from my undergrad years in Santa Cruz.  It was the first time  I really enjoyed college courses and thought to myself - this is what it's like to enjoy school.  I went into class smiling from ear to ear often because school was just so much fun!  A new me was revealing itself and I found the fog was lifting.  Occasionally that "fog" feeling came back, but after a year or two, the fog was a thing of the past.   

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Having gone through this, I realized what I had that wasn't diagnosed because they weren't looking out for it, was depression.  I was severely depressed and never knew it. My creative journey began in fashion school and from that point on I haven't looked back.